As I slowly approach my 60s, I felt the need to look back on my life and break it down into decades, as one does, and compare them in order to understand my present state. I have to admit, my 40s were full and busy, but also a time when I felt lost and alone in the crowds, as if I was simply juggling roles but not really pursuing my passion. Underneath all the events and activities surrounding family life, there was a void that I could never fill, nor truly identify. If I could travel through time and coach my 40-year-old self, I would encourage the woman to find her north star and define her passion and purpose.
Everybody said that I would find my raison d’être at 40 and that my body would ignite with passion and drive, so I was excited to cross that milestone. The universe, however, is a master prankster and I experienced quite the opposite, finding myself in the first midlife crossroad or existential crisis. Almost two decades later, I look back and realise that it was just the beginning of what turned out to be a remarkable journey — a blend of lessons learned, wisdom gained, and a deep yearning for more meaning.
I thought I knew the answer to the powerful question: Am I living with passion or purpose? But had to admit to myself that the answer was no.truth be told it took me 15 more years to figure it out, but that comes in the next chapter of the series! Back to the 40s – passion and purpose often get tangled, but they play two completely different roles in our lives. Whereas passion is the fire that excites and brings joy, purpose, on the other hand, is your compass — the contribution you make to the world. In short, it is your legacy. Finding and then navigating these two can be is terrifying as well as transformative, especially as you step into this empowering chapter of life.
By the time we reach 40, many of us have worn countless hats: caregiver, partner, professional, friend, son/daughter, sibling, and perhaps even mentor. At this age, the question isn’t, “What should I do?” but rather, “What truly fulfills me?” We’ve lived through triumphs and trials that leave their marks but while these experiences are invaluable, they often pull us away from our authentic selves and consequently drive us into an abyss.
Passion is personal. It’s that thing that makes you lose track of time and consumes you with a fire that is on an infinite loop, with no beginning or end. It is where you lose yourself and emerge a better, stronger person. It could be painting, baking, traveling, mentoring, or even solving puzzles; for me it was photography. Passions evolve with us, and what once lit you up in your 20s may no longer resonate. That’s okay, you should be concerned if you don’t grow out of and evolve from your 20s or 30s.
The 40s are all about rediscovering — or embracing — new passions and this can manifest itself by way of a class, an old and neglected hobby, or explore something entirely new. Your passions are the philosophical breadcrumbs leading you to rekindling a sense of wonder. But here’s the great caveat: passion alone isn’t always enough to sustain you. It’s vibrant but fleeting, like fireworks. To give wings to your passion, you need to find your purpose.
Purpose is the unique way your life touches others. It’s the sense of alignment that comes when your actions contribute to something meaningful. Unlike passion, purpose isn’t always fun or exciting — it often requires sacrifice and hard work. But it provides a profound sense of fulfilment that passion alone cannot. It emerges from our experiences, and shines after our struggles. Did overcoming a tough time teach you resilience? Did raising children or caring for a loved one deepen your compassion? Purpose doesn’t always shout; sometimes, it whispers. Listening to those whispers can reveal where you’re most needed.
The magic happens when passion and purpose intersect. For me, this is is what writing was all about. Up until this point I had shouted to the world that photography and writing were my passion, but then I discovered why they were intrinsically interlinked in my soul. One was my passion, and the other my purpose. My life lessons from this decade that I carry with me until today?
- Continuous self-reflection – understanding what brings me joy in the present and letting go of what no longer applies or keeps holding me back.
- Giving myself the time and space to try new things – You don’t need to have it all figured out, if it doesn’t work out, close the chapter and move on.
- Purpose comes alive through service – take stock of your skills, knowledge, or experiences to share to make someone else’s life better.
- Let Go of Perfection – There’s no “wrong” way to live with passion and purpose and trust that every step forward, no matter how small, brings more meaning to your life over and beyond your duties and roles.
Your 40s are all aboutabout rising up and building a life that feels full, authentic, and unapologetically yours. It’s not about reinventing yourself, but all about rediscovering who you’ve always been — and sharing that with the world.
Again, if this blog entry does not resonate with you age-wise, then please share it with someone who needs to read it. Thank you.
Related blog entries:
Passion vs. Purpose Series I: An Inspired Life for the 18-25
The Esoteric Frog 
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